In high school, my female best friend and my male best friend became friends and I could not handle it. I cut both of them out of my life. Not one to ever be jealous in relationships, I had discovered that I was an amazingly jealous person in friendships. I did not have a best friend again until ten years later, well into my working life.
In my twenties it was easy to make friends. Everyone was single, had enough energy to go out all the time and with no high responsibility jobs, mortgages or children it left more time for socialising. But as I left my twenties I realised that a lot of these people were merely acquaintances that I saw out or at parties.
As I moved through jobs, I was often surprised at who ended up staying in touch once I left a place of employment. That’s life, it wasn’t meant to be and you can’t stick around in the dead end jobs just because of the great work friends you have there. Sometimes you were only friends with people because you worked with them and then once that reason is gone, the friendship is also gone.
Having friends all over the world in the UK, Canada and Asia; I find that wherever you are you miss people. My best friend is currently lives in Baku, Azerbaijan but that does not mean that she is not my best friend. And one of the women I most relate to is in Canada with two kids to keep her busy so I don’t know when I will chat to her again; but that doesn’t mean that I don’t value her friendship.
In my opinion, friendship can only be enjoyed if it is two way. Otherwise what’s the point? This is a lesson I learnt early on in life. If you really want to see someone, you make the effort and you make it happen.
Or maybe it’s about expectations? Maybe my own expectations of friendship are too high? Or maybe my expectations of friendship change as I change as a person? Maybe being different to your friends actually equals longevity of friendship? I have learnt that by letting go of some friendships, I have made room in my life for new friends which have opened me up to new experiences and challenges.
I have been lucky to meet some great people along my journey through life, learn the value of quality over quantity and hopefully ended up with friendships that last a lifetime.