Tag Archives: busy

Real friends vs Digital friends

Real friends are great. They are there for you no matter what, in good times and bad; and all those sticky times in between. They’ve known you forever or are your new best friend. You like doing the same things together and planning for the future.

But life gets busy, people have kids or move away. You may be travelling for work and the time left for real friends becomes that 5 minutes at the end of the day before you collapse into a heap.

So what do you do?

You replace them with online friends! Online friends are great. They are there any time of the day and night and are from all over the world. They don’t care if you talk endlessly about travel, become opinionated or not answer their messages for a week.

Of course there is a danger in replacing real friends with online friends. They could not be who they say they are, they can still be mean and they may even defriend or block you. You also may never meet them in person.

And that’s great if you want to live in cyber space like most of Gen Y. And what about Millennials? Do they even know how to talk to people in real life anymore?

Digital friends can’t provide counselling on past and present issues as they are only hearing your side of the story. They can’t share a glass of wine and a meal with you or give you a real hug.

As a Gen X’er on the cusp of Y, I was very hesitant about social media. I still won’t share very personal pictures with the public. But in the age of digital transformation, does the Gen X attitude even matter anymore? It’s get on the digital train or get left behind these days.

So, no, I won’t be replacing my real friends with online friends anytime soon. But my real friends can take comfort in the fact that they won’t have to listen to my diatribe of travel obsession as I have some digital friends to ease the burden.

Related posts: Who are you?, Having it all?, Reinvention, Universal vs Personal,  Friendship: Great Expectations?

Having it all?

The concept of having it all is nothing new. We are all told as young girls that we can have it all- the handsome prince, the massive castle, 2.2 kids and the brilliant career.

But in today’s time poor society, is there room to have it all?

Being in a relationship takes work, having a big house costs money, the kids need a bit of both and the career takes up 8 hours plus a day. Factor in family, friends and finding time for yourself and it all can be a little overwhelming. Most of us, having all these things to juggle will find that one thing or the other suffers at some point.

I recently heard from a wiser woman, that what it really is about is choosing what’s important to you. But that is easier said than done. It takes time to figure out what the highest priority is and this can also change from time to time.

So what do you do?

Realise that you can’t please everyone. Sometimes that work deadline will have to be delayed so that you can pick up the kids from daycare, and the world won’t end if it does. On the flipside, maybe you are lucky enough to have a husband that can pick up the kids so that you can stay late at work if you have to.

It’s about choosing your battles. There are some wars that are not negotiable. Your husband may have to wait for their quality time until the kids go to bed, but that’s ok, as long as you don’t forget about him completely of course. Maybe you will have to take a step back from your career, but make sure you leave your options open in case you ever want to return. The grass is always greener right?

Sometimes an earlier than normal start or a later than normal finish to get in some exercise or spend time on a hobby are a necessity to feed your body and your soul. Yes, it’s time away from the family, but won’t you be happier and more present when you have been able to find this time for yourself?

Me, I’m still figuring it all out. Sometimes, that concept of work life balance and following my dreams seems very far away, but on my more positive days it feels like a distinct possibility. All I can do is make the most of what I have and not regret the decisions I have made that seemed like the best ones at the time.

Oh, and the battle about what’s more important- a big house or travel experiences- that one can wait for another day. When I’m not so busy.

Related posts: Reinvention, New Beginnings, Emotion vs Logic,  Good vs Evil, Pride vs The FallDreams vs Reality

It’s the simple things

Today, we have a short post for a simple idea. It’s not often that we take the time to appreciate the simple things in life.

The feeling when you are walking through the park on a sunny day

Sitting down and enjoying  the breeze and the view

The taste of your favourite ice cream

The smell after a good rain shower

The sound of the city or even of silence

I’m sometimes so busy getting to where I am going or thinking about what I want to do, that I forget to stop and look around me. So much can be missed this way.

Maybe feeling joy about the little things is a better way to enjoy every day life and not get bogged down in the things that can irritate us.

I’m sure this is no revelation. Monks have been teaching this kind of thing in Buddhism for year’s right?

There is also something to be said for living in the moment and not worrying about what’s around the corner. Perhaps not a good long term savings plan, but a life full of experiences instead. And who’s to say which is more valuable?

Personally, I almost always go for the experience and not worry about money. But this can also be dangerous, so you sometimes have to be selective and reasonable in your choices and not go abseiling in favour of being able to buy groceries for the week.

By enjoying the simple things in life, you can get satisfaction on a budget. It costs nothing to go to the park, go for a walk and use your senses to tune into the world around you.

And what a wonderful world it is if you can only take the time to  stop and look around.

Related posts: Adventurous vs Risk taker, It’s all in the attitude, Happy Holidays, Random Public Holiday Ramblings, Kicking goals