Tag Archives: Reality

It’s not how good the music is, it’s who you’re dancing with

I heard this saying the other day and it made me think.

The dance floor could be the coolest one in the country with the hippest people and the best beats. But if you are there by yourself, with people you don’t really know and don’t really like, then its really not that much fun.

The funkiest cocktail bar with the best drinks can end up being a dive in the basement if you go with the wrong people and the music is too loud. The best restaurant in the trendiest suburb can be lack lustre if you go with people who aren’t that fussed with fine food.

Of late I have been catching up with a few friends from various parts of my life and it made me remember that these people are in my life for a reason. No matter what we are going through in our lives, even if it means we can’t catch up as often as we would like, when we do see each other life seems better when shared with these people.

There are the old work friends who I’ve kept in touch with because it’s not just about the job we did together, but I actually really like them as people as well. Their lives are diverse and interesting and they offer different perspectives on life.

There’s the wives of my husbands friends who have been around for over a decade or more and are now my friends in their own right. They make restaurants more fun and Saturday nights a family bonding experience for everyone.

And there are the special friends from near and far who and know my history and me better than I do myself. It is for these friends that I am truly grateful as they have the ability to pull me out of a dark place for a reality check and make me smile no matter how bad life can seem at the time.

Friends remind you that you are not alone, you are not crazy and it’s actually the rest of the planet that has gone mad.

So whether your daily soundtrack is Portishead or Ministry of Sound, it’s the people you are listening with that can make all the difference in the world.

Related posts: Real Friends vs Digital Friends, Friendship: Great Expectations?, People vs Place, By special request 

Perception is reality

What is real and what is not?

Often people perceive that your life is prefect, especially when Facebook only records the good times. But in reality, all is not always as it seems.

But does that even matter?

Is someone perceives that things are all rosy, then it must be the truth right? There is no point asking questions, when everything seems fine and would you even want the real answer anyway? People believe what they want to believe after all.

I’m all for focussing on the positive things in life, and a lot of being on social media is about big noting yourself so that people think that you are awesome/want to be your friend/want to give you that next job.

We all do it. No pictures of tired eyes as you have been up since 3am looking after a baby, instead there is the picture of your bundle of joy smiling and laughing. It doesn’t matter if this only happens 10% of the time.

No pictures of Saturday night at home in your tracky dacks on the couch, instead a picture of you and your girlfriends having cocktails at the latest cool bar. It doesn’t matter if this only happens one night of the year.

No pictures of the dusty motel you stayed in on holiday, instead Instagram pictures of the gorgeous beach that was a half a day drive away. It doesn’t matter if you never even had time to set foot on the sand.

No job title of blogger on LinkedIn, instead you are an award winning published author. It doesn’t matter if you’ve actually only ever been paid once in all those times you have been published.

So should we all just be more honest? Or is it easier to just go on through life thinking everyone has perfect lives with adorable kids that never cry, a hectic social life, fabulous holidays and the best job in the world?

If perception is reality, then maybe we are all better off with the perception and after long enough, perhaps this will become your reality anyway. It’s all about positive thinking right?

Or perhaps the key is finding out who you can be honest with and choosing who you want to let into your reality. Otherwise aren’t we all just living a lie?

Related posts: Dreams vs Reality, I’m happy for you, Having it all?

Dreams vs Reality

A couple of weeks ago, it was I Want 2 Be Day for the Kids Cancer Project.

And it got me thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up.

At first I wanted to be a ballerina, then a nurse and pretty much whatever else my older girl cousin wanted to be.

Then I wanted to be a writer and spent hours writing and illustrating stories about birthday parties I went to and sequels for some of the characters from the books I read.

In high school it seemed like it was a bit early to be deciding what I wanted to be. I just knew that I liked Geography and Society and Culture, but what sort of job could you get with that?

I envied the people that knew they wanted to be doctors and lawyers and had a clear study path set out before them.

So, I took a year off, went travelling, came back, took another year off, and eventually decided to give this writing thing a go and study for a BA Communication (Journalism).

At university, I enjoyed public relations and editing and publishing and despaired at the reality that real journalism jobs were not well paid and hard to find.

So I worked for a print production company because they employed me, worked for an architectural visualisation firm because it sounded interesting and tried PR which I found I actually hated in practice.

I worked for various not-for-profits and charities and discovered there that I was good at event organising, but was it really what I wanted to be?

So I took some writing courses at the Australian Writer’s Centre and started writing a blog in my spare time. Isn’t it funny how life has turned a full circle and now I want to be a writer again?

I guess a dream is only a dream until you make it a reality.

Perhaps I lacked direction, focus and certainty about my dream before, but now I can see that it could become reality.

Maybe in the past I expected my dream to be clear and happen easily and quickly. Now I realise that dreams take time and effort and that’s what makes them a dream in the first place.

It’s a long term goal that if you didn’t really want to do, you wouldn’t have the drive to make a reality.

It’s that niggling thought in the back of your head, that won’t go away no matter how unrealistic it seems.

We live in a world where career changes are possible, going back to study is acceptable and changing your mind is allowed.

So, what did you want to be when you grew up? Perhaps it’s time to revisit that dream and take stock of your reality?

Related posts: Do you need trauma to have talent?, What is news?, What’s inspiring about your event?, Kicking goals, The Seven Year Itch, I first started writing